| Cat Humor |
A dog thinks:
Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice
warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me… They must be
Gods.
A cat thinks:
Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice
warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me… I must be a God!
Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice
warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me… They must be
Gods.
A cat thinks:
Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice
warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me… I must be a God!
How to tell when your cat is too fat:
- Confused guests constantly mistaking her for beanbag chair
- Always lands on her spleen
- Fewer calls to the fire department, but a sudden upsurge in broken branches
- Fifteen month gestation period, and still no kittens
- No longer cleans itself unless coated in Cheese Whiz
- Cat food dish replaced with Rush Limbaugh trough
- Luxurious, shiny black fur replaced with mint green polyester pants suit
- It’s no longer safe to lift him without a spotter
- “Steals breath” from all five quintuplets, simultaneously
- Waits for the third bowl of food to get finicky
- He only catches mice that get trapped in his gravitational pull
- Enormous gut keeps your hardwood floors freshly buffed
- Has more chins than lives
THE PASTOR'S CAT
This particular story just made me laugh. Every time I think about it, the vision
of that poor cat just amuses me no end. Hope the story leaves a bright spot in
your day. Whoever said the Creator doesn't have a sense of humor?
A man recently told a true story about the Pastor of his church. He had a kitten
that climbed up a tree in his backyard and then was afraid to come down. The
Pastor coaxed, offered warm milk, etc.
The kitty would not come down. The tree was not sturdy enough to climb, so
the Pastor decided that if he tied a rope to his car and pulled it until the tree
bent down, he could then reach up and get the kitten.
That's what he did, all the while checking his progress in the car.
He then figured if he went just a little bit further, the tree would be bent
sufficiently for him to reach the kitten. But as he moved the car a little further
forward, the rope broke.
The tree went "boing!" and the kitten instantly sailed through the air - out of
sight.
The Pastor felt terrible. He walked all over the neighborhood asking people if
they'd seen a little kitten.
No. Nobody had seen a stray kitten. So he prayed, "Lord, I just commit this
kitten to your keeping," and went on about his business.
A few days later he was at the grocery store, and met one of his church
members. He happened to look into her shopping cart and was amazed to see
cat food. This woman was a cat hater and everyone knew it, so he asked her,
"Why are you buying cat food when you hate cats so much?"
She replied, "You won't believe this," and then told him how her little girl had
been begging her for a cat, but she kept refusing. Then a few days before, the
child had begged again, so the Mom finally told her little girl, "Well, if God gives
you a cat, I'll let you keep it."
She told the Pastor, "I watched my child go out in the yard, get on her knees,
and ask God for a cat. And really, Pastor, you won't believe this, but I saw it with
my own eyes. A kitten suddenly came flying out of the blue sky, with its paws
outspread, and landed right in front of her."
This particular story just made me laugh. Every time I think about it, the vision
of that poor cat just amuses me no end. Hope the story leaves a bright spot in
your day. Whoever said the Creator doesn't have a sense of humor?
A man recently told a true story about the Pastor of his church. He had a kitten
that climbed up a tree in his backyard and then was afraid to come down. The
Pastor coaxed, offered warm milk, etc.
The kitty would not come down. The tree was not sturdy enough to climb, so
the Pastor decided that if he tied a rope to his car and pulled it until the tree
bent down, he could then reach up and get the kitten.
That's what he did, all the while checking his progress in the car.
He then figured if he went just a little bit further, the tree would be bent
sufficiently for him to reach the kitten. But as he moved the car a little further
forward, the rope broke.
The tree went "boing!" and the kitten instantly sailed through the air - out of
sight.
The Pastor felt terrible. He walked all over the neighborhood asking people if
they'd seen a little kitten.
No. Nobody had seen a stray kitten. So he prayed, "Lord, I just commit this
kitten to your keeping," and went on about his business.
A few days later he was at the grocery store, and met one of his church
members. He happened to look into her shopping cart and was amazed to see
cat food. This woman was a cat hater and everyone knew it, so he asked her,
"Why are you buying cat food when you hate cats so much?"
She replied, "You won't believe this," and then told him how her little girl had
been begging her for a cat, but she kept refusing. Then a few days before, the
child had begged again, so the Mom finally told her little girl, "Well, if God gives
you a cat, I'll let you keep it."
She told the Pastor, "I watched my child go out in the yard, get on her knees,
and ask God for a cat. And really, Pastor, you won't believe this, but I saw it with
my own eyes. A kitten suddenly came flying out of the blue sky, with its paws
outspread, and landed right in front of her."
| 763-689-0095 |
| Cambridge VetCare Animal Clinic Cambridge, MN |
Clinic Hours:
Monday - Friday: 8am - 6pm
Saturday - 8am - 12pm
Sunday - Closed
Monday - Friday: 8am - 6pm
Saturday - 8am - 12pm
Sunday - Closed
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