| Dog Humor |
A dogs version of creation:
On the first day of creation, God created the dog.
On the second day, God created man to serve the dog.
On the third day, God created all the animals of the earth (especially the
horse) to serve as potential food for the dog.
On the fourth day, God created honest toil so that man could labor for the
good of the dog.
On the fifth day, God created the tennis ball so that the dog might or might
not retrieve it.
On the sixth day, God created veterinary science to keep the dog healthy
and the man broke.
On the seventh day, God tried to rest, but He had to walk the dog.
On the first day of creation, God created the dog.
On the second day, God created man to serve the dog.
On the third day, God created all the animals of the earth (especially the
horse) to serve as potential food for the dog.
On the fourth day, God created honest toil so that man could labor for the
good of the dog.
On the fifth day, God created the tennis ball so that the dog might or might
not retrieve it.
On the sixth day, God created veterinary science to keep the dog healthy
and the man broke.
On the seventh day, God tried to rest, but He had to walk the dog.
On the first day, God created the dog and said:
"Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone
Who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life
Span of twenty years."
The dog said: "That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years
and I'll give you back the other ten?"
So God agreed.
On the second day, God created the monkey and said:
"Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a
twenty-year life span."
The monkey said: "Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time
to perform. How about I give you back ten like the Dog did?"
And God agreed.
On the third day, God created the cow and said:
"You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the
sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will
give you a life span of sixty years."
The cow said: "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years.
How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?"
And God agreed again.
On the fourth day, God created man and said:
"Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years."
But man said: "Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty,
the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the
dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?"
"Okay," said God, "You asked for it."
So that is why for our first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy
ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family.
For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren.
And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.
Life has now been explained to you
"Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone
Who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life
Span of twenty years."
The dog said: "That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years
and I'll give you back the other ten?"
So God agreed.
On the second day, God created the monkey and said:
"Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a
twenty-year life span."
The monkey said: "Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time
to perform. How about I give you back ten like the Dog did?"
And God agreed.
On the third day, God created the cow and said:
"You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the
sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will
give you a life span of sixty years."
The cow said: "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years.
How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?"
And God agreed again.
On the fourth day, God created man and said:
"Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years."
But man said: "Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty,
the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the
dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?"
"Okay," said God, "You asked for it."
So that is why for our first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy
ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family.
For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren.
And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.
Life has now been explained to you
A LESSON TAUGHT BY AN OLD POODLE....
A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa , taking her faithful aged poodle
named Cuddles, along for the company.
One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long, Cuddles discovers that he's
lost.. Wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the intention
of having lunch.
The old poodle thinks, "Oh, oh! I'm in deep doo-doo now!" Noticing some bones on the ground
close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching
cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap the old poodle exclaims loudly, "Boy, that was one
delicious leopard! I wonder if there are any more around here?"
Hearing this, the young leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him
and he slinks away into the trees. "Whew!", says the leopard, "That was close! That old poodle
nearly had me!"
Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he
can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So off he
goes, but the old poodle sees him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that
something must be up. The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and
strikes a deal for himself with the leopard.
The young leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here, monkey, hop on my back
and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine!
Now, the old poodle sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back and thinks, "What am
I going to do now?", but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers,
pretending he hasn't seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old
poodle says.
"Where's that monkey? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard!
A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa , taking her faithful aged poodle
named Cuddles, along for the company.
One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long, Cuddles discovers that he's
lost.. Wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the intention
of having lunch.
The old poodle thinks, "Oh, oh! I'm in deep doo-doo now!" Noticing some bones on the ground
close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching
cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap the old poodle exclaims loudly, "Boy, that was one
delicious leopard! I wonder if there are any more around here?"
Hearing this, the young leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him
and he slinks away into the trees. "Whew!", says the leopard, "That was close! That old poodle
nearly had me!"
Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he
can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So off he
goes, but the old poodle sees him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that
something must be up. The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and
strikes a deal for himself with the leopard.
The young leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here, monkey, hop on my back
and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine!
Now, the old poodle sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back and thinks, "What am
I going to do now?", but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers,
pretending he hasn't seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old
poodle says.
"Where's that monkey? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard!
| 763-689-0095 |
| Cambridge VetCare Animal Clinic Cambridge, MN |
Clinic Hours:
Monday - Friday: 8am - 6pm
Saturday - 8am - 12pm
Sunday - Closed
Monday - Friday: 8am - 6pm
Saturday - 8am - 12pm
Sunday - Closed
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